I’ve often vocalized the difficulty of the transitional period between being a devout, Lutheran, pastor’s kid who’s identity was largely in her religious identity to an atheist. When first identifying as such, I often experienced feelings of doubt and regret, although it obviously wasn’t a decision. I felt like I was already a terrible atheist for missing my religious identity, I mean, an enormous aspect of my life was suddenly gone. I didn’t realize that this was not only normal, but probably to be expected.
The other day in one of my religion courses, we discussed the concept of cognitive dissonance: that is, the idea that conflict between beliefs or loss of belief can actually result in grief. For instance, when a loved one dies you will most likely experience grief. It made so much sense, and perfectly explained how I often felt and still occasionally feel as I adjust to my new beliefs or lack thereof. Throughout this process I’ve remained fond of religion in general, but now I realize that it’s not just because I was pining for my own.